Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
