My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
