my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
