So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize