I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
