i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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