Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
