MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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