Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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