am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
