TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
