hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
