he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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