I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
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I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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