you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize