After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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