NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
