i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
