Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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