I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
