you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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