Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Im part way to drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
