The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
