i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
17 year olds will be the death of me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
