Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You pole danced in your parka.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
