Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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