First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize