I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
