Grow some girl-balls and come out already
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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