If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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