THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
