to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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