Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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