I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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