Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
