On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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