we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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