can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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