I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
