It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
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i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
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My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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