We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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