I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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