So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Buhtt sex?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
