all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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