He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
