"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
where are my eyebrows?
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