i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just gargled with NyQuil
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
