I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
