im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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