I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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