Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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