Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize