last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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