Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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