I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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