allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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