Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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