saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
