my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
