he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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