I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
