If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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