yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
