susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
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There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet