Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  I wish they had nachos that got you drunk

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  (760): I wish they had nachos that got you drunk http://tfl.nu/1jvf
  Replies (17) Good night (4393) Bad night (564)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.

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  (201): i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures. http://tfl.nu/5w6x
  Replies (16) Good night (661) Bad night (5585)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj

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  (617): anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj http://tfl.nu/74ok
  Replies (76) Good night (6701) Bad night (756)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word

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  (513): Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word http://tfl.nu/dxvq
  Replies (57) Good night (4196) Bad night (997)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.

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  (832): I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover. http://tfl.nu/1njk
  Replies (14) Good night (3049) Bad night (1117)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.

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  (502): bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story. http://tfl.nu/l5v1
  Replies (8) Good night (6265) Bad night (892)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

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  (480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp
  Replies (50) Good night (3624) Bad night (5427)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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  (619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk. http://tfl.nu/u5eo
  Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (3301)
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  (805): View more from California

  Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy

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  (805): Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy http://tfl.nu/e3vy
  Replies (6) Good night (2110) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Did you get my bra back of the bartender?

  (1+61): View more from

  I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'

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  (+61): Did you get my bra back of the bartender? (1+61): I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile' http://tfl.nu/e0z3
  Replies (4) Good night (1657) Bad night (1333)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future

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  (516): Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future http://tfl.nu/gu0v
  Replies (14) Good night (891) Bad night (1717)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.

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  (573): I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed. http://tfl.nu/ml69
  Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.

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  (304): Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out. http://tfl.nu/fz3p
  Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.

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  (706): i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house. http://tfl.nu/5m3i
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.

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  (206): I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra. http://tfl.nu/2ofq
  Replies (5) Good night (368) Bad night (444)

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