It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
