This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
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I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!