I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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