Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have tasted many bathrooms
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
