What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
