my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
